Crystal Ball

Sometimes, I just wish I could see into the future. I wish there really were pretty sparkly crystal balls that gave me all the answers I am seeking. Especially at moments like these in my life.

Geeze, I feel like I've had nothing really big going on in my life for the longest time. Now, as of two days ago, my whole plan of what was gonna be going on in my life for the next few months is up for grabs. A month ago my principal approached me asking if it would be alright for her to nominate me for a new thing Metro is starting up this year. It's called the Teacher Leadership Institute. I didn't really think much of it other than, "awe that's a really nice compliment for her to think of me". Over the past month, I've had so many other things to think about I had kind of put it at the bottom of my list of things to do. So this past weekend, I started thinking about it again. I looked at the website and decided to go for it. I began the process of filling out the application, redoing my resume, and writing an essay. Four hours later, I finished and starting thinking about what it would actually mean if I was selected. I have been praying and trying to think this through to decide if this is really what God wants for me.


Here are some Pros and Cons:
Pros:
-I get to be a part of a select group of special educators
- I will learn many leadership skills
- make connections within my district
-free IPAD!!! (I like this one alot)

How it affects my summer:
- I'll have more time to travel at the beginning of the summer
-I would get to work YES Bible Camp

Cons:
- rejection of not getting picked
-I won't get to take the free flight class from MTSU this summer
-suspense of waiting to find out if I get picked- I have to wait till April freakin fools day to find out. That is sooo not funny.
-It's gonna take up alot of my time and energy
- lots of expectations and pressure


As of now, I wait in limbo land until, they decide if they want a personal interview with me. Ahhhh, nervous feeling. Ahhh, I haven't done anything like this in a long time. This will either be a great opportunity for me to do something special or a good lesson in humility. I have always had a hard time balancing confidence and humility. I never want to jump the gun and get excited before something actually happens because I hate getting my hopes up then being disappointed. If I do get selected, I'm gonna have mega responsibility next year. My principal already told me she wants me on leadership team and wants me to be the K team leader next year.

This is scary for me because I feel so tied down now.  I still have such a passion and desire to teach abroad . God planted that seed in my life a long time ago and it has been growing steadily in my heart since then. I feel like this is a time in my life where I should still feel free to make choices about what I want to do. There are so many conflicting ideas in my head right now. Life, career, passion, and desire. So many choices.  No matter how scary it all seems, I just have to believe that God will equip me with whatever skills I will need for whatever path he brings me to. He's never failed me before. Amen